🔗 Share this article

“Well, it’s rather brutal here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to put everything they’ve got into tinned provisions and hunting rifles.” This nugget of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a scientifically altered, talking, glasses-wearing member of the slick creature crowd that infests Manhattan’s ultra-modern Clamp Tower skyscraper in director Joe Dante’s unhinged continuation Gremlins 2: The New Batch. At first glance, it’s simply an investment tip from one monster to another. Yet, oddly enough, it’s also surprisingly sturdy life guidance. Truly, listen to my reasoning.

When life takes a turn for the worse, the worst thing you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin grasps this. Indeed, most of the dentally-gifted beasts that inhabit Dante’s wild 1990 film (debateably his greatest) possess the same knowing, self-referential funny bone regarding the hazy boundary separating everyday life and unadulterated chaos. It’s a particular aspect of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that ensures my return – and with the passage of time, it’s the message that echoes the loudest.

An Early Life Obsession

Understandably, my connection with this movie did not begin on such an introspective level. As a child, we possessed merely a few scratched-up video tapes at home. Part of that group were Gremlins and its follow-up, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case probably bought from an off-brand video shop and featuring snarling creatures on its worn-out artwork. I was instantly captivated and these films wasted no time lodging themselves inside my young, susceptible psyche. Henceforth, they became an practically routine part of my early years entertainment regimen.

Dante’s first film usually receives all the accolades, thanks largely to its status as a moderately spooky festive favorite – and let me be clear, I’ve watched Gremlins an incalculable number of times. However, its successor seldom receives the same level of high regard, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d never miss an opportunity to watch Gremlins 2. During long summer holidays, I’d lock myself inside and pop it in. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it continued playing looped in my bedroom. With repetition, it ingrained itself in my mindset. If my parents observed this fixation, they appeared unbothered.

Subtler Rewards and Pop-Culture Easter Eggs

As I matured, new insights rewarded repeat viewings, amplifying the pleasure of watching little green monsters joyously wreck a New York high-rise. I learned the ahead-of-its-time real estate tycoon and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was inspired directly by the later-to-be-president Donald Trump, with his auburn-haired worker Marla (Haviland Morris) echoing his second wife Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp possesses greater compassion than his actual-world equivalent.

The “end of civilisation” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was based on a actual “Doomsday” video produced by the CNN boss Ted Turner as a contingency for the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante took extra pains to film varying versions of a self-aware scene where Gremlins take over the exact movie you are viewing. An edit for movie houses, one for VHS and TV, each delivering a smirking slice of self-referential entertainment sorcery ahead of its time.

A Persistent Appeal

While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s wonderfully grotesque creatures that captured my attention as a child, this hidden treasure held my interest as an adult. Ultimately, I even conversed with Dante about it myself and he had no reservations telling me he made the movie with the specific aim of poking fun at those who loved its goofy-but-heartfelt predecessor and craved further installments. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he gleefully confessed. This Looney Tunes-esque insubordination and resolve to not take his sequel as solemnly as his Warner Bros bosses obviously desired, only deepened my appreciation further.

When I went through a unexpected loss in the family recently, I was taken aback to discover that, during my most profound sorrow, all I felt compelled to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Weird, right? Maybe not. The nostalgic calm it provided was necessary to weaken my mind’s grief morass – but the perspectives it had given me as an adult were equally valuable.

Like Gremlins running amok in a genetics laboratory, there’s certain elements in life you just are powerless over. Dante knows it. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to emulate them: embrace the chaos, commit your entire being into preserved goods and firearms and try not to take things too seriously.

It’s robust worldly wisdom from a highly unexpected fountain – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will forever remain my go-to cinematic solace.